Bern, Switzerland — Following the recent discovery of a new shade of blue, named olo—which can only be seen by stimulating the human eye with a laser— the euro board gaming world was rocked by a second announcement; a previously undetected shade of beige. Co-discovered by German professor Dieter Braun and Japanese professor Akiko Chairo, the new color is called bej and can only be observed when seen through a triple filtering of the plastic wrap commonly found around decks of playing cards.
When asked about the discovery, Professor Chairo explained through a translator “we had just opened copies of Flip 7, Bomb Busters, and Harmonies for the lab’s game night and had this plastic material just laying around.” She continued “when Dieter went to throw out the trash, he thought it would be funny to stack the sheets and look through them. And just then our battered office copy of El Grande caught his eye; and then he gasped in amazement and delight. Together we closely examined the components with and without the filtering material and agreed this color had been right in front of our eyes the entire time. Just imagine”, she exclaimed proudly, “a new shade of beige, and we’re the first ones ever to see it!”
“Thank heavens for poor environmental sustainability.” said aristocrat and cardboard commentator Lord Sandy Fawn, “Bej might still be unknown if all publishers considered the planet and used paper-banded decks. Omelettes made from broken eggs and all that, wot!”
The new color is the latest discovery in a period of great innovation in tabletop research and development following last year’s creation of a new shape of cube (the ‘ciwb’), by Dr Gethin Llwydfelyn of Swansea University. The 2020’s have also seen the invention of dust-resistant cardboard in Greece by engineer Bez Kastanós and the growth in the ‘Pshh’ alternative digital dexterity movement led by Mexican hand guru Elena Marrón.
“After the turmoil of the theme-paste shortage, deck builder union strikes and ‘Catan Spiel Controversy’, it’s wonderful to see the industry bouncing back,” said Professor Braun, “I, for one, am looking forward to pshhing some bej ciwbs in a nice dustless Euro.”
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