HALIFAX, NS – Local Deck Builder Union 504 has expressed its intention to begin striking next week if its terms are not met. The union is seeking more victory points, larger hand sizes, and less shuffling.
Union president Hans Ofcard said in a press release on Friday, “There has been ample opportunity to negotiate. It is not unreasonable for us to demand more placements for our workers.”
The strike is projected to have broad impacts both locally and abroad, with particular damages to the eurozone. Analysts report that, unchecked, the strike could have “Legendary [sic] consequences.”
“Our goal has always been settlement,” says Ofcard. “But we won’t be called social traitors for exercising our civil liberties. We should at least be on equal footing with the Bag Builders. It seems only fair play.”