I’ve been playing board games since the 1970s, and playing what are considered hobby games since the 1980s. (Yes, I am that old.) I’ve also played many RPGs in that time, and even a few wargames. I’ve seen many changes over the years, especially regarding the treatment of women in the hobby. Thankfully, things have improved greatly for women in gaming since those long ago days.
It was once the case that a woman just had to accept sexist remarks, inappropriate jokes, and offensive artwork as part of the gaming experience. Even after demonstrating interest and ability, many women were dismissed or belittled. Now, attitudes in many spaces have changed, and it is easier to find groups and shops that not only welcome women but embrace the different perspectives we bring to the hobby.
But…
As the saying goes, “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Unfortunately, even in the year 2026 CE, I still encounter more than a few casual assumptions about women who play and buy board games.
I don’t bring this up to bash anyone, or to throw an entire gender under the bus. As I said, things have improved greatly. Learning is happening, and positive change is all around. There are some holdouts, however, who still seem to believe that women can’t possibly be gamers, or if we are, we somehow aren’t “real” gamers and must occupy some lower tier in the hierarchy.
I’m not even sure at this point that all these assumptions are malicious. It’s more like casually assuming that because something has always been, it must always be. It is for this group that I write this piece, to encourage them to question these casual assumptions.
So here are six assumptions about women in board gaming that I still encounter, even in these enlightened times.
1. All women love cozy games, or games with female-friendly themes like textiles, baking, nature, or art.
Sure, some women do love cozy games or traditionally female-centric themes. And having more of these available in the marketplace is great because having more choices is wonderful for everyone. Games like Wingspan and Everdell have absolutely lured more people (of all genders) to the hobby. However, many women enjoy other themes as well (or don’t care for “cozy” at all). There are plenty of women who love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, superheroes, Cthulhu, space exploration, war games, and historical themes. Pop culture and themes do not belong exclusively to one gender or the other.
Some people sigh when a woman shows up at game night because they assume she’s going to want to play something warm and fuzzy and not the gritty space opera on offer. Don’t bet on it. She may have shown up because the gritty space opera was on offer. Assume she’s there to play whatever game is on the table, at least until she tells you differently.
2. That our male partner is the shopper if we’re in a store.
It’s disheartening to wander into a FLGS and have the staff address our male partners as if we’re not even there. Asking the man, “How can I help you?” while obviously excluding the woman from the conversation is hurtful. Trying to steer the man to the new arrivals shelf while assuming the woman will just wander around is annoying. She may be the reason the couple is in the store and, frankly, her partner may not know anything about games.
A better approach is to include both people in the conversation. Be welcoming and willing to help both people, and listen if a woman is speaking. Alienating the woman may cost you a sale today, as well as future business.
3. That we got into board games for (or because of) a guy.
More times than I care to count, I’ve run into gamers who assume that my interest in games somehow stems from a guy. Either a guy introduced me to gaming, or I started gaming to impress a guy. I sat down at a gaming event once (that I’d learned about from a bulletin board flyer in the student union) and a guy literally asked, “Which one of us do you want to go out with? That’s why you’re here, right?” Um, no?
While I’m sure some women get into gaming this way, I can only think of one I know personally. I do know a woman whose husband was a big gamer, and he piqued her interest in the hobby. She started playing and the rest was history. (And I don’t know anyone who got into gaming strictly to impress a guy.)
Most women I know came to modern board games as an extension of a hobby they enjoyed as children. They liked Clue or the Game of LIFE back in the day and sought out grown-up alternatives. Some also discovered games organically by seeing them in stores or friends’ homes. Others just decided to seek connection by showing up at a FLGS’s game night and were hooked from there.
I’m sure men do play a role in the gaming lives of some women. Fathers, for example, may introduce their daughters to games, and husbands may encourage their wives to share a beloved hobby. However, it’s wrong to assume that a man had to be involved in a woman’s gaming journey. Women are capable of discovering games for themselves and then sharing them with their friends.
4. That we’re buying games for our kids/grandkids.
We might be. But it’s equally likely that we’re buying games for ourselves or for our game group. If we walk into your store, don’t steer us toward the kids’ games (even if we have kids in tow) until we ask about children’s games or start browsing those shelves. I’ve noticed that many store employees don’t make this assumption about men, even when the man shows up with five kids hanging off his leg. The employee will ask the man about his interests first.
Not all women have kids or grandkids. We may not want advice on what is popular with elementary schoolers or tweens. We may want advice on the newest legacy game, or the latest by Vital Lacerda. Assume that we’re there for ourselves until we tell you differently or, better yet, just ask us directly what we need help with and then guide us accordingly.
5. We’re only into gateway games, or social games like Mahjong or Bunco.
While many women do enjoy social games, that doesn’t mean they don’t also enjoy hobby board games. And, of course, not all women who like board games enjoy social games. Liking a social game like Mahjong does not put a woman out of the running for liking a game like Planet Unknown or Earth. Just as there are men who enjoy poker as well as traditional board games, it isn’t either/or for women.
I’ve found that if a woman enjoys social games, it’s easier to get her interested in board games. She’s already shown a willingness to sit down at a table and use her brain to play a game. It isn’t a far stretch to introduce other games. Discounting a woman who is interested in social games may mean depriving your group of a valuable member.
6. That we don’t like conflict-heavy games or aren’t competitive.
One of my favorite (cancelled too early) shows is Duncanville, an animated family comedy. In the episode Redhead Redemption, Kimberly (the younger sister) is telling Duncan (her brother) why his team replaced him with her in the big video game tournament after she demonstrates that she’s a better player. Their exchange goes like this:
Kimberly: Your game is weak.
Duncan: Oh, and you’re tough?
Kimberly: That’s right, ’cause I’m something you’ll never be, a middle school girl. There’s no name I haven’t been called, no taunt I haven’t endured, no body part that hasn’t been shamed. I show no mercy and must kill to survive.
Now, not all women and girls had horrible middle school experiences, but there is a ring of truth to this dialogue. Many women have been put down and dismissed so often that it has sharpened our competitive drive. We’ve had to prove ourselves so often in school or the workplace that it naturally spills over into gaming.
Of course, some of us are just naturally competitive and enjoy winning without any help from the outside world. We were born with a desire to win and relish knocking pieces off the board or taking resources from others.
In either case, not all of us are care bears when it comes to gaming, and if you assume that we are, you may find yourself getting shellacked in a game someday.
Bottom Line
What all of this comes down to is one simple truth: women and girls are not a monolithic group (with regards to anything, not just games), any more than are men and boys. We all have different tastes, abilities, and interests that aren’t defined or confined by our gender. We all came to board games via different paths. To assume that we are all the same, or that we are somehow not capable of making our own choices, does a disservice not only to us, but also to you.
You may miss out on gaming with some really cool people if you lead with poor assumptions. We’re often asked not to lump all men together, and we ask the same. If you must make an assumption, start with the obvious: that this woman is at my game night or in my store because she seems to like games. Be open to learning more from there.
(And now, an open invitation.)
As the (currently) only woman on the Meeple Mountain team, I’d like to extend an invitation to other female gamers. If you are a woman who is well-versed in the board gaming world, Meeple Mountain encourages you to inquire about writing for us. We welcome diverse voices and perspectives on the hobby, and more female voices would be welcome. I realize that it’s sometimes daunting to step into an already established group where you will be the minority, but fear not. Meeple Mountain is a welcoming, safe space and true pleasure to write for. They are the good guys and I certainly didn’t write this article for or about any of them!
