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Honest Board Game Descriptions

Have you ever had to try to describe a game in a single phrase? Here’s a satirical look at some honest game descriptions of our favorite (or least favorite) games.

Have you ever tried to describe a board game in a single phrase? “It’s like Ticket to Ride meets Jenga.” “Imagine Connect 4, but on a Viking farm.” Granted, maybe those aren’t the best examples. In fact, they’re probably not even helpful. Speaking of unhelpful things, here are some more abbreviated game descriptions that while not exactly useful, are at least honest. With tongue firmly planted in cheek, let’s poke some fun at our favorite (and perhaps not-so-favorite) games in the latest in our Board Game Mashups series: Honest Board Game Descriptions.

Power Grid: “Damn! I’m one dollar short! I knew I should’ve brought my calculator”

Blood Rage: “I swear, if you don’t stop playing that Loki card…..”

Agricola: “Sorry I killed your pet sheep, but we gotta eat.”

Indonesia: “Where’s my merger spreadsheet?”

The Godfather: Corleone’s Empire:  “It’s not personal. It’s just worker-placement business.”

Cobra Paw: “I got it! No, wait. That’s not it.”

Munchkin: “We’ve been at this for 2 hours now. Somebody get to level 10 already.”

Robinson Crusoe coverRobinson Crusoe: “I was going to survive, but then it rained.”

Jaipur: “One of us is going to have to take these camels and it isn’t going to be me.”

7 Wonders: “Oh boy, thanks for the handful of hot garbage!”

Caverna: “My cave only has one bedroom, but it’s big enough for my sheep.”

Terraforming Mars: “Don’t bump the table, don’t bump the table….AAAHH! My cubes!”

Ghost Stories: “You lose.”

Pandemic Legacy: “Let Cairo die. I want to open a box.”

Splendor: “Card-based excuse to play with amazing poker chips”

Pie Face: “Hey, free whipped cream!”

Sheriff of NottinghamSheriff of Nottingham: “Lie to your friends if you want to win.”

Fluxx: “I would’ve won if it was last turn.”

Cards Against Humanity: “Saying horrible things is okay if it’s a game.”

Dungeon Pets: “So much poop.”

Codenames: “[description], 2”

Concordia: “Ignore the box art. I swear it’s good.”

Castles of Burgundy: “Ignore all of the art. I swear it’s good.”

Happy SalmonHappy Salmon: “The most fun you’ll have shouting in a circle.”

T.I.M.E Stories: “It’s a game abo……it’s a game about ti…..it’s a game about time travel.”

Trains: “It’s like Dominion on the Orient Express, minus the murdering.”

Twilight Imperium, 4th Edition: “For when you want to conquer the galaxy, but only have 12 hours to play.”

Gloomhaven: “For when you want to conquer a fantasy universe, but only have 100 hours to play.”

One Night Ultimate Werewolf: “All the fun of Ultimate Werewolf with none of the game.”

Marvel Legendary: “452 card pickup”

Pitchcar: “The most entertaining form of traffic.”

Have a favorite game that we didn’t include? Post it to Facebook or Twitter with the hashtag #HonestGameDescriptions!

About the author

Jesse Fletcher

I have loved board games since childhood. Re-discovered modern gaming in 2013 and never looked back. I enjoy stupid, silly fun as much as I do strategy, and aspire to never lose the childlike joy that board gaming provides.

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